2011 Attendees: Stitt, Moto, Higgy, Lash (Tour TJ), Ginge, Oggy, Finchy, Weeble, Amy, Stu and Floater
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2010 Tour to Barnstable
2010 attendees: Stitt, Horne, Floater, Holah, Penfold, Gary, Stu, Finchy, Oggy, Higgy and Hardwick
Welcome to Tactics corner with Uncle Weeble…
Sunday saw a plucky 8 tackle the traffic of the M25 to play Watford 2’s in the London League. For a while we though we only had 7 players, but it just turned out John “Pre-match Poo” Holah was having a massive dump – he eventually made his way to the pool side…
For the first two quarters of this game we played very well, with the score at half-time being 4-4. We then let ourselves down for 4mins in the 3rd and 3mins in the 4th quarter, conceding 12 goals in total. The final score of 16-11 does not do our valiant 8 justice, but given that nearly all 12 goals came from breakaways, it does highlight our need to either train more or ensure we have more than 8 players.
That being said, we all put in a big effort and everyone was shattered at the end. I definitely think that we can give them a very good game when they visit us if we can get an extra 1/2 people along. It is also becoming more and more apparent that we need to start practicing our man-ups and man-downs – so get down to training in numbers!! I expect you all to visit our new spot Tactics corner to refresh your memory!!
- Man of the Match this week is our first joint award. Both Nick and I got 3 votes each with Phil in a close 2nd. Given the effort we all put in this weekend, I would like to think we are all in some way, man of the match… (Naaaaattt!!) I am sure Sheikh Harwood will offer up some stinky chat about this – I can’t wait…
- Moment of the Match is awarded to Tim “he does what he wants” Young, who successfully stole the ball and then buried it past the keeper – top shooting!! I notice that no one chose to vote me for winning TWO swim offs this week!! They had to move the halfway mark to stop me winning in the 2nd half!!
- Fluffer this week goes to Tom “foul mouth” Burridge for his tirade towards the officials. It is hoped that this public name and shame will motivate him to clean up his act. On the other hand, I personally enjoy the running commentary on all the terrible things being done to him… You would never think to retaliate would you Tom…?
In other news, big shout out to Phil Richards with a 3 goal haul – and rectifying his issue of last week by letting us know he was actually in the pool. Matt “Crusher” Finch is steadily racking up his major count in goal – this week rectifying a harsh penalty decision by saving the resulting shot. He is now sitting pretty on a brutality rating of 3.00 alongside John “Bruiser” Holah.
In the stats table as we enter the halfway point in the season, Nick has now broken 50 goals. Will he reach the 100 goal mark? Start placing your bets now!! John is slowly gaining on me to try and get his hands on the Catas Trophy for a 2nd time. He traditionally has a “strong” second half to the season, so only time will tell!! At the bottom of the table, Rob “I’m really busy” Chapman has slipped into the danger zone – and we all await the arrival of Luke “Cup Final” Penfold…
Until next time – Volo ego eram aptus
Forza Narwhali!!
It’s like watching Brazil…
Happy Friday Gents!!
Apologies for the delay in the stats report, I have had a lot on at work – admittedly not as busy as Rob “chained to my desk” Chapman, but enough to slightly delay the publishing of the stats!! Any way, here we go…
Wednesday showed what a difference a decent pool and Sutton and Cheam coming with a team that better resembled a 2nd team could do. Having lost by 9 goals the last time we played them, we succeeded in getting a big fat “W” on the board with a satisfying 12-11 win. Having lost 5 games on the trot (2 of those to Sutton), it was nice to stop the slide. Onwards and upwards!! Having been 4-1 down after the first quarter, we got our act together, went to a full press and won the 2nd 4-2. What then followed was a game of “anything you can do, we can do better” with a series of flicks, lobs, unprecedented “skills” and some really good goals. For the whole of the 3rd and 4th quarter, there was only 1 goal in it – it was some very exciting polo – at one point I even heard the “crowd” cheer… bloody hell… Throw into the mix some decent man-down defence (again) it was a very good game all round!!
- Man of the Match went to Nick “Goals Goals Goals” Shute for his 6 goal tally. This is the 3rd week in a row he has won MoM and he is now 2 goals off the half century.
- Moment of the match went to Tom “Bumaldinio” Bummage for his superb goal – rising from the depths, under immense pressure – to turn his pit defender, flick the ball back over the defenders head, and then lob the stranded Sutton keeper. We didn’t know you had it in you!!
- Fluffer award went to Phil “no woman no cry” Richards this week for his non-appearance. It seems he let his off-field, extra-marital problems affect his match performance and he recorded a big fat Maddy. He should take a leaf out of Finchy’s book – who has never allowed his Jeremy Kyle worthy private life influence his performance in the pool…
Special mentions also need to go to John “Lycra” Holah who smashed in two goals and to Finchy for allowing us to play some free flowing route one polo with his distribution from goal.
As for the stats chart itself, Nick is still pushing on in his quest for a 3rd Golden Ball (whey) whilst Holah is doing his best to push me all the way for Major King. Matt “Crusher” Finch is closing in on having a leading brutality rating given his preference to give away majors and penalties as a keeper… Shocking!!
See you Sunday for the game vs. Watford!!
Forza Narwhali!!
And as discussed on Wednesday, I am proud to introduce our new Latin club motto: “Volo ego eram aptus” (loosely translated as “I wish I was fit”) – based on the popular phrase: “If only we were fitter” – alternatively “Si tantum nos erant aptus”
I don’t understand helmets… they go right over my head…
Hello all,
Following our 16-7 defeat to a Sutton and Cheam “2nd” team (featuring an Olympian and some 1st team players) as well as a certain Mr. Lenki reffing – here are this weeks stats:
As we arrived at the pool and saw who we were playing and who was reffing, we took a deep breath and prepared to batten down the hatches, put on our helmets and prepare for an onslaught. I don’t want to complain too much, but I think there is a dubious selection policy at Sutton, even if it is “within the rules”… it pushes the definition of 2nd team to its limit…
Anyway, down to business – given some wayward passing and inability to win minor fouls, we were beaten on the counter attack several times in the first two quarters. Our third quarter however was significantly better, resulting in a 3-1 win. I will focus on the positives – we had some really good man-down defense, and the majority of our man-ups ended in goals. When we spoke to each other and got organised, we were solid to break down and we were able to frustrate the opposition. We got a lot of practice at man-down, with our major count being 8 to Sutton’s 3. Holah and Burridge clearly have thug like reputations – yet try as I did, Lenki refused to major me!!
Down to the awards – today we have our first clean sweep of the year. Nick “gets all the awards” Shute collected 2 goals, a major and all 3 awards – MoM, Fluffer and Moment. Tip your helmets in appreciation gentlemen!! Man of the Match was awarded for his goals, moment for his backhand helmet shot and Fluffer (with all 8 votes) for passing to the opposition/getting mugged by a 14 year old. Special mentions go to Tom “mouthy” Burridge for travelling from France to play and to Phil “No.2” Richards for putting away more shots than he scored!!
Despite the odds not being in our favour, good effort yesterday boys. Remember, everything gets better with training…
Until next time, happy helmet hunting!!
Gimli
Stats Democracy in action
Lads,
A slightly delayed stats update following an impressive spread vote for moment of the match. This follows a last minute (well, 10 seconds) defeat to Beckenham II’s (11-10).
Despite a magnificent come back in the 4th quarter which saw us level the game from 3 goals down, we were defeated by a last gasp goal. Having called a time out and scored from our man-up, we only had to defend for 12 seconds to tie the game. Unfortunately we didnt manage that and it was then too late to come back again. Despite some hit and miss passing in the first two quarters, our 4th quarter full press worked remarkably well, and in a game that saw 19 majors between both sides, our man-up/man-down tactics worked fairly well – the only way to improve is to train…
Man of the match was awarded to Nick “back in form” Shute who picked up 4 goals. He narrowly beat Bummage and Oggy who got 2 votes each. However, Fluffer award was also awarded to Nick – who following Oggy winning a major, decided to pass the ball straight to a Beckenham player, despite us having a 3 on 1. That being said, he only narrowly beat Matt “I’ll save anything as long it isn’t straight at me or from outside 5m” Finch. Moment of the match, for a long time was a 6 way tie, the nominees being:
– Floater swallowing half the pool in Q1
– Full press in the 4th Quarter (team)
– Ed winning a Swim off
– Ed winning a penalty (and Nick scoring it) – mostly Ed being in a position to win a penalty…
– Ogg scoring to tie the game
– Nick’s “other” pass – which led to a goal
However, with a Oggy no vote, we waited for Phil to cast the deciding vote. His response… “can’t really think of one…” – When pushed for a decision, he graciously chose me winning a swim-off. Thanks guys, its nice to be appreciated!!
Stats wise, Gary “Corporate Golfing trip” Bowen has found his form and is working his way up the scoring charts. I continue my bruising encounters with the Major king, whilst Nick maintains his position as top scorer. Having given away two penalties on Tuesday, Finch is the most aggressive keeper we have ever seen… be careful…
As a final note, the stats will now also be uploaded to the Narwhals website and can be found here (https://www.owsc.org.uk/category/match-reports/). As of next week, all reports will go online and I will only send out the link. Have a look at the site and enjoy!!
Until next time… Forza Narwhali!!
Socially Unacceptable
Gents,
A bit of pre-tour stating for you. Definitely wont be used for fines later…
Yesterday saw us play Kingston III’s… no II’s… ok maybe they had a few first team players… with a shoe string 7. We lost 13-8 and although I hate to criticise referees… there were a “few” interesting decisions.
Chris Mann defied the advise of his physio to play yesterday and made some vital interventions playing in goal. For his efforts he was duly awarded Man of the Match, despite Dan “I only vote for myself” Bedford contributing 5 goals to yesterdays tally. He was however beaten 4 votes to 3. Fluffer was awarded to Matt “Bouncer” Finch for his 0/8 goal to shot ratio – all misses coming from over excited bounce shots. He narrowly beat Tim “Mr. Bump” Young who managed to fall of his bike twice…
Moment of the match was hotly contested. I got nominations for tackling the keeper and providing Dan with an assist (as well as winning another swim off), the whole team got nominations for a fine 3rd quarter, Chris got a vote for his goal keeping antics and our man-down defence also got a vote. However, not one to chase glory, I decided to give the moment of the match to our 3rd quarter revival – shame we couldnt maintain that in the 4th quarter…
Other incidents of note – Gary now has his scoring boots on having racked up 3 goals in 2 games. On the flip side, Nick “were you actually there” Shute managed to not score for the first time in living memory… better luck next time!! I continue to smash my way through the Major King competition. After two years of failure, could this be my year??
Next update to come post Beckenham. I’ll see you at the social!!
Forza Narwhali!!
Full time Fluffer
Gentlemen,
A mid-afternoon stats report to take you through to the end of the day!!
Yesterday saw us lose 9-7 to Avondale II’s – a game we could have won were it not for some wayward shooting, some losses of concentration and a certain failed back pass (something I’ll get on to later). Our current record for the season is 8 wins and 3 loses, with a goal difference of +15. Not a bad tally for being a third of the way through the season!!
Man of the Match yesterday went to Nick “Poo-y bottom” Shute. Despite being “marked out the game” or so he claims, he managed to score 4 goals. As part of that tally, I can also tell you that he managed to score the teams 100th goal of the season!! Beers on Mr. Shute? Yesterdays game also saw the brief, hobbling return of Sheikh abu bin “ooooo my shins” Harwood. Unfortunately he got a maddie… maybe he should just focus on growing back those toe nails… On that note, yesterdays “Banter Prize” is awarded to everyone who mocked Stu before the start of the game. I personally enjoyed watching him hobble about!!
Fluffer was, for the second game running, unanimously awarded to me. In essence I passed the ball to an unmarked Alan Stitt and he scored. For Avondale. I’ll see myself out.
Moment of the match was awarded as a team effort. In the second half Avondale failed to score from a single man up. Our defense was solid and we were putting in some big blocks. Good effort guys – I’d like to say training is paying off, but seeing as no one is going… Other than that, some lapses in concentration cost us the game, myself included. Lets try and focus up for the next game!!
As for the stats chart, Nick continues to push out in front with 36 goals for the season. I have extended my lead as Major king and Tim “Bicep Canon” Young continues to slowly climb up the table. The big news from yesterday is that Gary has now recorded a goal, so can no longer take the title “Brutal”… upsettingly he now only has an exceptionally high brutality rating of 6.00. I think you have let everyone down Gary!!
Forza Narwhali!!
Statistically Improbable
Hello Gents,
Stats report after a busy week of polo – 2 whole matches to tell you about!!
First off we have a 10-8 friendly victory over Amphibs 3. Despite only having 6 players, we recruited a a goalkeeper and managed to play a full 4 quarters each… FITNESS!! Rob “sorry I’m still in the office” Chapman marked his return to the team with a goal and everyone managing to avoid a maddie. Moment of the match goes to Tim “5 lives” Young who managed to convert his superb 5 lives form in training to actually scoring an actual penalty in a match – more of the same please!! Man of the Match was a close contest between the men who played in opposite pits – Mr Holah’s great defending narrowly beaten by Phil “finally found the net” Richards efforts in attack (3 goals). Despite this, Phil also wins Fluffer for failing to pass to a free Nick Shute (on 2m) in favour of blasting the ball a few meters over the bar… Good one mate!!
Sadly our second game of the week went less successfully. An away trip to a murky Morden pool resulted in a 14-7 defeat. Again we were done over by counter attacks and an alarming tendency to give the ball away. Dan “Irn-Bru” Bedford made a special effort to make the game – flying in from Glasgow. His travels were rewarded with a goal, the Man of the Match award and the special prize of hitting the Sutton keeper in the face about 7 times. The game was also a bumper result for myself (Ed “are you sure you know how to play” Gamble), almost getting a full house – 1 goal, 1 major, fluffer and moment. For the fluffer, 5m out and unmarked, I fumbled the ball, couldn’t pick it up, panicked, started to sink and then “unleashed” a timid shot that barely reached the keeper… then they scored off a counter. Does that count as an assist? However, I made up for it moments later by scoring an impressive lob which managed to win moment of the match. That being said, there were 2 votes for a full team fluffer and 1 vote apiece for nobody to win Man of the Match or Moment… I think that probably says it all.
As for the stats themselves, Nick “magic hands” Shute is still in the blazing a trail up front with double the goals of his nearest competitor. I lead the Major king stats, whilst steadily climbing the goal scoring ranks. Gary “Thug Life” Bowen still holds the best brutality rating whilst Sheikh Abu bin Harwood continues to excel in the Maddie steaks after his ill advised return to the UK. In other news it looks like we need to put a bit more effort into scoring goals… The top 3 have scored 64% of our goals whilst Nick on his own has scored 1 goal less (32) than everyone else outside the champions league places (33).
Until next time… Forza Narwhali!!