Afternoon all!! Following a bit of an anti-climactic victory over Blue Marlin, here are this weeks stats:

Jan 29th Stats

Following a slow start which saw us 0-2 down after the first quarter, we quickly pulled our finger out and scored 4 unanswered goals in the 2nd. This would keep us in front for the rest of the game. We played a very good drop defence, effectively neutralising Blue Marlin’s pit play. We continued this tactic in the mistaken belief that our keeper could (and I quote – because he actually said this) “save anything from outside 5m”…

We won the 3rd quarter 3-2 and the 4th 2-1, leaving the final score 9-5 to the Narwhals. In many ways our shooting let us down with a lot of wasted shots and opportunities. Having received lots of majors last week, we only received three this week – with 2 going to Gary “slugger” Bowen for pure thuggery!! Big shout out to John “it wasn’t me” Holah who managed to avoid getting a major this week – but he also failed to score and got a big fat maddy for his trouble… Other shout outs go to Nick’s cheeky lob, Simon “oooo my back” Tidy for making his 2016 return and Dan Bedford for spending a lot of time shooting at the keepers face…

Man of the Match this week was a close run contest, with 2 votes going to Bedford and 2 going to Holah (just for not being a thug). However the winner with 3 votes was Andy Ogg for netting 2 goals. Moment of the Match went to Zac “better than his dad” Finch this week for making his official Narwhals debut. He narrowly beat Gary who was nominated for a spectacular brawling exclusion. Fluffer this week sadly goes to Matt “anything from 5m” Finch for a combination of dodgy keeping and even worse passing… One such pass cost us a major and a goal… To be fair though, a lot of the time we weren’t looking properly to receive the pass so…

Stats wise, Nick stays top of the goal stats, and is also tied at the top of the Major list with Gary and John. Could this year be a 4 way battle? It seems the goal scoring charts could also be a bit closer this year. Only time will tell!!

And now, the Maddy club…

For our first game of 2016, the Mighty Narwhals trekked up to the North London black hole that is Stoke Newington for a game against Poly Purple. Stats below:

Jan 20th Stats

Following a less than enjoyable tangle with public transport and an exceptionally cheeky pre-game nandos, Shute, Bowen, Holah and myself arrived early at the pool to be faced by a small scale evacuation and two police vans. Thinking that his viciousness in the pool had finally caught up with him, “Punchy” Holah nearly did a runner – but the police weren’t there for him – a child had gone missing – insert your own jokes here… (luckily it was later found!!)

The kid was not the only person to go missing as during the game we noticed the referee disappearing, only to reappear to send a confused Narwhal from the pool. By the end of the game, we were 13 majors up compared to Poly’s 1… Kudos to John Holah for flying in the face of Mrs. Holah and making an early bid to keep the Catas Trophy. That being said, Nick “grabby” Shute is pushing him close, collecting 3 majors himself!! In other news, Phil got mugged by a 12yr old, Dan Bedford made a triumphant return from Glasgow (before probably heading back there next week) and Chris Mann became the only player not to be majored!!

Man of the match was awarded to me for being awesome, Moment of the Match was combined between myself and Bedford for the three goals we assisted/scored with each/for each other and Fluffer was awarded to Nick for having a bit of a shocker (by his own admission).

Stats wise, Nick sits at the top (as expected) on goals but is also challenging John Holah to be the most brutal of them all. Could this be the year Nick takes both special awards? Bedford picked up 3 goals so moves into the Champions League spot – we still await the triumphant return of Luke “rashy” Penfold, SpongeRob  PooPants, Tim “exams hermit” Young and Tom “networking prick” Walklate.

And now, the Maddy Club…