Wednesday 23rd September saw a keeperless 8 Narwhals travel the length of the Piccadilly line to face Enfield. The stats look like this:

Sept 25th Stats

Following an exceptionally cheeky nandos, we went to the game thinking we could be in with a shot of a close game… how wrong we were!! 6-0 down after the first quarter, and taking 3mins of the 2nd quarter before we scored, we struggled to make a mark on the game. Despite a brief rally in the 4th quarter, we finally succumbed 25-11. That being said, the 3 GB juniors playing for Enfield got 16 goals between them – take them away and we have an 11-9 scoreline. I claim the moral victory!! We had a few bad moments, but we certainly didnt deserve a defeat of that size.

Man of the match this week went to Gary for his great work retrieving the ball from the back of the net. He took on the job none of us wanted to do – yet when the increasing major count forced Tadija in goal, Gary used his energy reserves to get himself a goal and a major.

Fluffer this week was a close run thing. My favourite vote was for “the game”, but it finally went to Phil “Dribbler” Richards who tried a long range shot, only to see it land several feet in front of the keeper… Keep it up Phil!!

Moment of the match was awarded to me for my feigned innocence when accused of receiving a 3rd major. According to the match sheet I actually received 4 majors, but given that Holah was awarded none (and we all know he likes to collect majors as much as me) I think they may have mis-allocated the majors. Still, it seems everyone was quite keen to see me permanently ejected from the game… I couldn’t think why!!

Special mentions need to go to Chris Mann for his 1st goal (GOOOOAAAALLL) since returning from his shoulder injury, and to Tadija for picking up 2 goals. Also important to say that we picked up no maddy’s this week – although Stu was dangerously close to having a bad game (again).

Stats wise, Phil has jumped above Oggy in the goal charts – this looks like it could be an exciting final 3 months with only a goal in it. John and I continue to push for the Catas Trophy, the race is on!! Not much change elsewhere, but Tadija is threatening to race up the table, with 5 goals in the last 3 games!!

Until next time – Volo ego eram aptus

Hello Gents – another slice of stats action for you to devour!!

Sept 21st Stats

Wednesday 16th saw us line up against Sutton and Cheam 2nds and we fell to a disappointing 15-6 defeat. Poor shooting, poor passing, a bit disjointed – there weren’t many positives to take away from it. We couldn’t decide whether to press or drop and so did neither. If it weren’t for the three penalties we won, it could have been a very sorry looking scoreline. As we move towards the last few games of the Surrey League, we need to really focus on getting the basics right.

There was no Man of the Match this week. The votes left me with a 5-way tie and given I also had a vote for A.N. Other, I decided no one gets it this week.

Moment of the Match goes to Nick “Right place, Wrong time” Shute for getting punched in the head whilst desperately trying to reach a Matt Finch pass. The resulting penalty was thankfully tucked away.

Fluffer this week goes to Rob “why did you turn up?” Chapman – whose passing was so terrible he couldn’t even pass the buck for getting a Maddy. This was a unanimous decision, and coupled with his further drop into the red zone, I truly fear for him come the Kangaroo court of the Christmas social…

The stats chart continues to shift and change. Phil “Finger” Richards tried his very best to re-claim 2nd spot with a 3 goal haul – yet still remains 1 goal behind Oggy. Holah has closed the gap on Major King by one – his brutality rating of 4 is almost double all other contenders. I think we may well be looking at the retainer of the Catas Trophy!! In other news, Tadija lifts himself out of the red zone, and with a self imposed absence until mid-October, Tim “exams” Young may well find himself slipping down the standings!!

Until next time – Forza Narwhali!!

For the first time in many, many weeks I am happy to announce that we have achieved a big, fat “W” on the results board!! For your enjoyment today, the stats…

Sept 11th Stats

Wednesday saw the mighty Narwhals defeat Croydon III’s 14-12 – our first win in 11 attempts!! The match saw us beating Croydon in all aspects of the game – more goals, more players (8-7), more swim-off wins (well that was a draw) and more majors (9-1). A crushing victory on all counts!! The headline news from the game was that Andy “goal hanger” Ogg scored 7 goals and has now leapfrogged Phil “ouchy finger” Richards into 2nd in the stats chart. Despite his prowess in front of goal however, Oggy did not win Man of the Match…

– Man of the Match this week was a tie between Gary “shot stopper” Bowen and Tadija “pirouette” Popovic. Gary was voted for his 2 quarters of superb goal keeping and Tadija for his 2 goals and ballet skills. Tadija also gets a special mention for pushing Rob “toothache” Chapman into the Stats danger zone!!

– Moment goes to Gary for some superb saves in the 3rd quarter which allowed us to extend our lead

– Fluffer this week was unanimously awarded to Nick “won’t pass” Shute who not only cruelly robbed Chris Mann of a goal, but then also missed several golden opportunities to score. Despite hitting 80 goals for the season this week, we are all super disappointed in him!!

On a side note, Tim “Hide n’ Seek” Young and Simon “Peek a boo” Tidy both scored Maddy’s for going missing. They were supposed to be in the pool but no one really noticed them.

As for the stats, a goal and 3 majors helped me to further cement my claim to 4th spot and the Catas Trophy. Holah is in close contention for Major King – with 3 1/2 months left, it will get tight!! Nick hit 80 this week and is well on course to topping 100. Oggy’s 7 sees him jump ahead of Phil, whilst Finchy bumped himself up the table with a goal. I can’t help that feel if Bedford were to just turn up for one game he might over-take me…

Until next time!!

Forza Narwhali!!

Wednesday 2nd saw the Mighty Narwhals line up against the fresh faced youth of Trinity School in an ill fated attempt to attract some new players. How successful we have been is yet to be seen, but until then – feast your eyes on some Stats!!!

Sept 4th Stats

The highly competitive game saw us draw 10-10, our slightly over-weight, slower “physical” polo vs. their youth and enthusiasm. The game saw the return to the pool of Simon “ooooo my back” Tidy, Tris “I thought it was training” Heath and we also saw Chris “grabby” Mann continue his return to full match fitness. We played some decent enough polo in the 3rd and 4th quarter but were let down by our inability to react to Trinity’s danger men in the first half. Nick picked up his customary 5 goals and collected Man of the Match as a result. He also got Moment of the Match for his final second shot in the 4th quarter which dribbled over the line and drew the game. Fluffer this week is shared between Matt “wayward” Finch and Sponge Rob Poo Pants with 4 votes each. Matt got his votes for some off target distribution in the first half, whilst Rob was nominated for fluffing his lines in front of goal. Stu was on the match sheet but he might as well of not been there. We were all disappointed.

A special mention must go to Phil “paper cut” Richards for reffing again – I hear he is taking a ref’s course in a few weeks… I am also giving a section this week to our part-time coach/motivator Zac “backhand compliment” Finch for some absolute zingers this week. A few of my favourites…

To Chapman: “the good news is that at least you weren’t the crappest player in the pool for once – that’s my dad!!”

To me: “The goal was ok – I just think you would be better if you tried harder…”

To the Team: “If you want to win you need to score more goals…”

I am fully supportive of a new section of the website where we document more classic motivational speeches!!

As for the stats themselves, Nick “dribbler” Shute is pushing towards the 100 mark with 10 goals in 2 games. I have put some daylight between myself and Tim pushing into 4th in the goal charts. Holah’s 2 majors push him into 2nd for major king. He is adamant that he doesn’t want the trophy… his performances and brutality rating (3.50) say otherwise!! Gary and Tim are tying in the Maddy stakes with 6 each. Only the Sheikh has done better. Everything to play for as we move into the last 4 months of the season!!

Volo ego eram aptus