Monthly Archives: July 2015

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Major Problems and General Stupidity

Hello Gents,

Following another bruising and hard fought encounter with Croydon, we unfortunately fell to another defeat, this time 10-8. Despite Croydon having some interesting 2nd team selections, and some dubious refereeing decisions, we played very well and scored some really good goals. Our all round general good play led to us having an 8-7 lead going into the 4th Quarter. Unfortunately we had to play that quarter with only 6 players as both myself and Tim had picked up 3 majors each… Despite going 3mins 45secs without conceding a goal, we unfortunately let 3 goals in and lost the game. It was a great effort from the team though!!
  • As a result of his indiscretions this week, Tim “2 Hands” Young received the Fluffer award. I must admit, he only beat me by one vote, but given my comments from last week (and I quote) “Tim is looking to break his Maddie rate, with three in a row now. With a game against Croydon coming up, maybe he should just hit someone…“, perhaps he took this a bit too literally…
  • Man of the match went to Oggy for his 4 goal haul and having to fight different Croydon pit defenders the whole game.
  • Moment of the match almost unanimously went to Gary “was that a shot?” Bowen for his spectacular long range effort to grab his 2nd goal and double his tally for the year.
 
Other incidents of note include Finchy’s big sulk at the end of the game, our inability to drop despite discussing it for a whole time out (thanks guys) and the fact that 2 votes for fluffer went to the referee… I think the less said about that the better!!
 
Anyway, on to the stats. Nick continues to push on for his 100 goal tally for the year. Oggy is pushing Phil “woodwork” Richards for 2nd spot whilst myself and Tim battle it out for 4th. My clumsy majors this weeks puts some distance between myself and Holah for the Catas Trophy but keep your eyes peeled as Mr. Shute is slowly closing in on the leading pack. We need Simon to get better to stop Chapman escaping the relegation zone, and meanwhile Gary has put another surge in to move up the table.
 
Until next time boys – Volo ego eram aptus
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Close but no Cigar…

Hello gentlemen,
Another stats report for your delectation. Wednesday saw a close game against Reading end in a 10-9 defeat. There have been a string of games this season where we have lost by just one goal – which just shows how close we are to getting a W rather than an L. In places we played really well – in particular the 2nd and 3rd quarters were where we played some good polo. I think again, our man-ups and man-downs have become quite sloppy – and if we work on these in training then we would probably concede less goals and maybe get a few more for ourselves… that being said, we do need to make sure that Phil isn’t shooting… more on that later…
  • Man of the Match this week was a close run thing – Bummage’s sterling work between the sticks just beaten by Oggy’s constant battles in the pit. Three goals to the good for Mr. Ogg secured his MoM.
  • Moment of the Match goes to Phil “my girlfriends here, it’s the 3rd quarter and I haven’t scored so I better do a bounce shot from 8m” Richards, who, scored a delightful bounce shot from 8m out. Very nice work Phil… however…
  • Phil also wins the fluffer award… a somewhat harsh decision, but he did again blaze several shots over the bar, or at the posts, especially on man-ups.
Other points of interest include Reading lobbing myself and Burridge with a foot flick from the pit, John “Hardman” Holah put in other “major” performance and someone let Rob “see you in 3 months” Chapman score…
As for the stats, Nick pushes his tally to 65 goals. With 10 games left (until October) and some Winter League games yet to be arranged for November and December, his current goals per game ratio puts him on course to hit the 100 goal mark again. John and I are now tying on Majors. John is famed for a decidedly more brutal 2nd half of the year, so the competition for the Catas-Trophy is really hotting up!! Tim is looking to break his Maddie rate, with three in a row now. With a game against Croydon coming up, maybe he should just hit someone…
Until next time boys – Volo ego eram aptus
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Please send me out, I really need a rest…

This weeks report takes us to the battle of Croydon, where the well behaved Narwhals went down 9-8 to an unusually aggressive and mouthy Amphibs team. In parts we played well, winning the third 3-0, but again going down in the 3rd quarter. Our man down defense was shaky, despite the delightful tactical video we have done for you but that being said, there was a lot of good work being done.
Special mention must go to John Holah who managed to record his first 3 major game this year, now only 1 major behind in the Catas-Trophy. Despite the rest of us trying really, really hard to get a major, John seemed to be picking them up for fun. A third major in the 3rd quarter almost secured the Fluffer award for him – however this week it is unanimously awarded to the Sheikh who’s passing was, in all honesty, awful. Man of the Match goes to Mr. Finch for some good saves and for again securing himself a major – most brutal Keeper in Croydon… Moment of the match is awarded to our new boy Tadija for a superb lob that sent the keeper the wrong way. He will tell you he meant it…
In other news, Croydon had an argument with the referee’s and it seemed that for most of the 4th quarter we were just having a free swim. I think however that it was a cunning ploy, much like the “injury break” in tennis, to disrupt our rhythm. A formal investigation is being launched.
In the stats, Nick stays at the top on goals, Chapman has basically died but promises to return in July and John and I have powered away from the field in the major king stakes. Tim’s turn of form in May and June has slowed, picking up a 2nd maddy in 2 games whilst Phil continues to be the top fluffer!!
Until next time Gents!!
Forza Narwhali!! (Volo ego eram aptus)