Gentlemen,

Following a brief lull in stats updates, I am pleased to report on two stellar victories for the mighty Narwhals. A 14-8 win over Otter and a 9-5 win over Kingston.

Unfortunately I missed the Otter game, but despite the absence of a first choice keeper, I have been told we played pretty well. Bren, in his first game this year was a handful and picked up 5 goals, whilst Nick “hot shot” Shute continued his goal scoring form. Man of the Match was a unanimous vote for Mr. Bowen who went in goal without complaint and I have heard tales of ‘excellent distribution’… cant possibly be the same Gary we know… Fluffer award goes to Mr. Ogg for being halfway to Avondale before realising he should be in Dagenham – but this was closely contended by Rob who managed to sky a shot from 5 meters. Moment of the Match goes to Phil “you do realise the goal is the bit inside the posts” Richards who avoided a Maddy with 20 seconds to go by blasting the ball in off the crossbar.

Despite Kingston having a 1 goal head start yesterday, we successfully turned them over despite their petulant moaning. Oggy and Mr. Shute took responsibility for getting the goals whilst the rest of us either tabled, refereed or watched. Mustafa Stu Bin Harwood recorded his first maddy of the season and we were all thoroughly disappointed by his performance. Oggy was awarded MoM for his efforts in the pit, Chapman won fluffer for his “pass” and Phil unanimously won moment of the match for being slapped in the face by the big tattooed bloke. Comments have been passed to me that Phil needs to make more effort to hit the netting and not the wood work – I am sure he is trying his best!!

As for the stats, Nick continues to lead the goal scoring charts, whilst Gary’s brutality rating is so far off the scale, he can only be listed as “BRUTAL”. It seems we are evenly sharing out the MoM’s – hows that for democracy – but Floater is excelling himself at providing memorable moments in every game.

Now, make sure you are available for Tour!! Nick and I have found some outstanding “accessories”… you wont want to miss it!!

Forza Narwhali!!

Weeble of House Gimli